Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Goodbye Langley...Hello Mexico!

It's going to be getting even more quiet these next 2 weeks here in blogland as Charity and I take a team of 14 students and 2 other adults down to Vincente Guerrero, Mexico for a Missions Trip. We leave bright and early Friday morning at 6am...let the road trip begin!!!

We're going on this Missions Trip with a company based out of Chilliwack called Stoney Creek Expeditions. If you have never heard of them, you've got to check them out. These people are a youth pastors dream come true!!! I don't know how I could have done this without them. Some of the main things that we're going to be doing while we're down there is building a house for a family with 8 kids, and as well playing some soccer with them. We'll be giving out a bunch of our supplies from past soccer camps which you know the kids will just love! We'll spend some time twice during the week doing some VBS as well.

For all of my students this is their first missions trip. Even for myself this is my first cross-cultural missions trip. It's going to be an amazing time down there, and before we even get to go to Mexico we're stopping off at Six Flags L.A. This will be a fun time, and probably the only chance for some of these students to get to go to Six Flags.

Don't worry...when I get back I'll be sure to be making a few blog entries about the whole experience. Please be in prayer for our team, and for the staff at Stoney Creek who are taking us on this trip. God's going to change lives through this trip...I can't wait to be apart of that.



Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Well it's certainly been a slow month here on the blog. Other than perhaps spewing herretical sentences a few weeks ago, it's been pretty quiet around these parts. I think basically everyone is just waiting for Matt & Becky's baby to pop out! I figure that's gotta be where all my usual web traffic has gone to.

But anyways, consider this a warning to any of you who live in the Walnut Grove/Langley area...that your budgets are gonna get a nice workout in the next few months. Here's the most recent list of what's all moving in to the neighbourhood. Boston Pizza is already open, and as I look out my office window, I can see that it's a close race for the Old Spaghetti Factory & East Side Mario's as to who opens next. Either way it's gonna rock having these restaurants here! It even looks like there's gonna be yet another Tim Hortons! Can't ever have enough of those that's for sure!

I do have to say that it's going to be even slower in blogland here for the next 2 weeks. Our Youth Ministry heads down to Mexico next Friday, and we're gone for 10 days. It's going to be an awesome trip, and I will make sure to post lots and lots and lots of pictures and stories when I get home. It'll feel almost like you were there yourself!

I hope this post made your day...or at least distracted you from something you shoudl have been doing as you clicked on the site and said "Oh yeah--he posted something!"



Saturday, August 05, 2006

In response to a Previous Post

I have received some negative comments in regards to my post entitled "Christianity Cheat Sheet." I hope that my readers read the entire post and did note the link at the bottom of the page.

Click HERE for the link again:

This post was purely intended as a satirical observation of North American evangelicalism... and isn't even my words. Sometimes I think we as Christians need to take a step back and look closely at how the world sees us--Christianity. Maybe satire isn't everyone's favourite style of humour, but I think that there were parts of that post that do hold elements of truth. If anyone was offended, then I apologize... but I don't that I'm embarrasing anyone.

If satire is your thing...then check out this book: Field Guide to Evangelicals and their Habitat

I picked it up recently and have enjoyed the good laugh. The author is Joel Kilpatrick who is the creator of Lark News. If you enjoy this site, then you'll get what I was going after. I hope this post brings closure to this whole thing.

Enjoy the Long Weekend,


Friday, August 04, 2006

I need an mp3

We're heading down to Mexico on the 25th of August and I really would love to get my hands on the mp3 "Missions Trip to Mexico" by B.O.B. if at all possible. Does anyone out there have this CD, or at least the mp3? The above picture is the CD where the song was from, but I am sure it was put onto some sampler CD's as well. If you do have this song could you please let me know. Leave me a comment with how to get in touch with you!



Thursday, August 03, 2006

Christianity "Cheat Sheet"

This is intended a simple "cheat sheet" for those confused and worried about the place of Christianity in North America and, to a lesser extent, the contemporary world. It's not intended to be a comprehensive guide, only to help my secular people as they navigate the confused waters of the world's largest religion. (note the HEAVY SARCASM)

This is the belief among some Christians that, ever since Jan. 1, 2000, it has no longer been possible, in the words of the Prince song, "to party like it's 1999." Postmillenialists are those Christians who believe that it will always be possible to do so, while Amillenialists believe that in this context, "1999" cannot be understood literally, but must be read as an allegorical term roughly meaning "a time at which it is especially appropriate to party."

This was a #1 hit in 1980 for Blondie (#5 in the UK), from the otherwise underwhelming "Autoamerican" album. Many Christians now concede that the then-pioneering use of rap in the song sounds a little lame in retrospect. In their best-selling series of books about the song, "Left Behind (Parallel Lines)," Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye defend the rap verse's hip references to Grandmaster Flash and Fab Five Freddy, and maintain that when Jesus returns, all believers will be united in accepting that Blondie's cover of "The Tide Is High" is better than the original.

The Pope
The Pope is the President of Christianity. He is elected every four years by the Congress of Cardinals, which is divided into the Senate and the Holy House of Representatives. As president, the pope can veto important pieces of legislation, which he tends to do. The pope is also magical, and cannot be seen with the naked eye except for one hour on Christmas Eve every year.

The Bible
The Bible was written by God as a merchandising tie-in to His blockbuster film "The Ten Commandments." Each book of the Bible is named after a person who features prominently in it, for example, the Book of Numbers, which is named after Herschel Numbers, who invented numerals. The Bible was so successful that God wrote a sequel, "Bible II: On to Rome," now generally called "The New Testament." Protestants believe the Bible is literal and exactly true in every detail except the description of the Eucharist, while Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible.

Catholics are the New York Yankees of Christianity. They are the biggest and wealthiest team, and their owner is intensely controversial (this makes St. Francis of Assisi the Derek Jeter of Catholicism: discuss). Catholics all wear matching uniforms, and are divided into "parishes," or "squadrons," to make choosing softball teams easier. Catholics are rigidly controlled by a hidebound hierarchy that starts with priests and ends with priests' housekeepers. Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible, eat meat, or refrain from worshipping statues.

For many years, American scholars believed the Orthodox were, like leprechauns, unicorns, and Eskimos, purely the product of the fanciful imaginations of medieval writers. Recent evidence leads us to tentatively conclude, however, that Eastern Orthodoxy may have somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 million adherents. Protestants tend to see the Orthodox as "Catholics with beards," while Catholics confess to a haunting sense that they are simply "Orthodox without beards."

The Protestant Reformation
This is the name historians give to a major labor dispute that erupted in Germany in 1517 when a group of monks hammered a proposed union contract to the door of the pope's house, requesting a 95 percent pay raise. The pope refused to negotiate with the monks union until it agreed to pay to have the door fixed, and the result was the world's longest-running strike. For nearly 500 years, a huge portion of Christians have been on strike from being Catholic, saying they are "justified" in their work stoppage because the pope won't expand the number of indulgences they get per year. Currently, the matter is in arbitration.

This theory was worked out by the French theologian and fashion designer John Calvin Klein, who argued that some people are predestined to be glamorous while others are doomed to be plain. America was founded by Calvinists, who sought to establish a country where they could pursue their belief that buckled hats were fashionable.

The belief that basic elements of play - like passing, ball handling, and defense - are the essential building blocks of a winning basketball team is generally referred to as "fundamentalism." The fundamentalists formulated their doctrine in the 1980s against the showy, heretical play of Magic Johnson's Los Angeles Lakers. Leading fundamentalist institutions include Bob Jones University and Syracuse. Larry Brown's failure to get the Knicks into the playoffs has been seen as a major setback for the cause of fundamentalism.

Baptists are Christians who believe God can only be accessed by means of a swimming pool or, in some cases, a shallow outdoor stream. The first Baptist was John the Baptist, who was said to eat locusts and honey, although contemporary Baptists generally prefer barbecue. "Baptism" is also the term used to describe a key Christian ceremony, in which prospective members of the church are either initiated actually (Catholics, Orthodox, confused Protestants) or symbolically (Protestants, confused Catholics, religious studies professors). Catholics believe that anyone can perform a valid baptism, Orthodox believe that any Christian can, while Baptists, paradoxically, believe that only they can.

The Emerging Church
This is a term that refers to churches attended exclusively by white people in their 20s and 30s who have at least one tattoo or body piercing. Their distinguishing characteristics are a refreshing, "up to date" interpretation of Christianity, and a reluctance to directly answer questions.

The Nicene Creed
This statement of faith is the Christian Pledge of Allegiance, recited every Sunday in squadron meetings by Christians all over the globe. Adopted in the 4th century at the behest of Emperor Constantinople, it was designed to counter the influence of the Aryans, who argued that Jesus was German.

Touchdown Jesus
When professional athletes thank Jesus for helping them win a game, this is the Jesus they're referring to.

The Trinity
This is the Christian expression of God, who Christians say is personified by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Not all Christians accept this: Unitarians, Jehovah's Witnesses, and some Pentecostals reject trinitarianism, as do Muslims. Interestingly, while this does not mean Pentecostals are Muslim, it does mean that Muslims are Jehovah's Witnesses. St. Augustine famously summed up the difficulty of comprehending the Trinity when he recounted a dream in which a small boy told him he would need a bigger bucket if he wanted to bail out the ocean.

Christians are not permitted to have sex. This unpopular doctrine was formulated by Pope Lactose LX at the Council of Disney in 1439. Despite this restriction, Christians have managed to increase their ranks to the point where there are roughly 2 billion of them. Scholars attribute this to the competitive health benefits and generous "flex time" arrangements offered by Christianity.

Heaven is a term referring to the ultimate destiny of a certain number of souls. Depending on who you listen to, heaven is either: where all of us will end up (Origen); where many of us will end up (St. Gregory of Nyssa); where some of us will end up (John Calvin); where a small portion of us have, in some sense, already ended up (John of Leyden); where precisely 144,000 of us will end up (Charles Taze Russell); or where Jack Chick will end up (Jack Chick). Theologian Belinda Carlisle once posited that "Ooh, baby, heaven is a place on earth," but explorers combing the globe have yet to confirm this.

The Devil
Although the Devil - also known as Satan, Lucifer, the Father of Lies, and, to his friends, "Hef" - is mentioned numerous times in Bible II, most Christians today are uncomfortable with belief in a literal, personal demonic entity. Instead, they prefer to think of the Devil primarily as the potential for wickedness that exists within all human beings or, in some cases, as an especially unreasonable landlord.

I hope this helps clear up some easily-made misconceptions about Christianity. If there are any questions about other doctrines or concepts, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks Greg for this!
taken from: